Equanimity Amid Chaos & Confusion (article)

 

By Linda Yelton

(Editor’s Note: Gratitude to the author for sharing her drawing and photo for this article, reprinted from the NewEarth Blog, July, 2020)

 

I am so confused by what is happening in the world today.  I had intended to write my introductory blog-post about my social media bio, which is simply Sat Nam.  The intended post went like this:

Sat Nam, a Sanskrit phrase, is frequently used as a mantra in Kundalini yoga practices.  It is typically translated as something like “the truth is my identity.”  But the phrase is much simpler yet more illusive than that.

Remember that Sanskrit words are often the source of words in Indo-European languages, including English.  Sat, then, is the root for the English word such which alludes definition:

• com says such means “of a kind.”

• American Heritage Dictionary adds “itself alone or within itself.”

• The Cambridge Dictionary calls the word such a determiner—whatever that means.

In Sanskrit the definition of sat is much the same as such.  It is of an entity, species or existence and variously implies that which is true, being, happening, real, existing, enduring, lasting, essential.

Thus, sat is the suchness of a thing, its existence, its essence, its eternal being.

Nam is easier; it means name.

Sat Nam, then, as my bio means, “I call myself existence.”  This phrase might sound familiar to those raised in the Judeo Christian tradition.  Is it not similar to “I am that am”, the name of God, the infinite consciousness of the universe?

Thus, I am not a female human.  I am not my long list of career accomplishments.  I am not even the multiplicity of cells and microbes which make up the temple into which my existence projects.  I am a projection of infinite consciousness focused into a field of time and space where I share the experiences of existence with other such projections.  There’s that word such again.

Thus, I undefine myself from any illusion of materiality that separates me from the infinite.  I am surrendered to the infinite, allowing it to bring me into the domain of pure potential from which I can choose, with my focused consciousness, I can choose my experience on a momentary basis using time as my creative medium.

I gained this knowledge from Yoga, from practicing the eight limbs of Yoga, from adhering to the ethical principles that free the human mind from the chatter and clutter that block perception of, and union with, infinite consciousness.  I know that each experience is just an expression of my own dharma—and karma— and my reaction is what creates my experience.  I can choose my experience if I simply regard each moment in time without judgment, with a sense of equanimity.  I needn’t think of any experience as bad or good, just as its own eternal essence of being without any attachment to “what’s next” because I know “what’s next” is my essence projecting on the field of time.

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I wrote the above amidst the Covid 19 shutdown, assuming that I would choose not to participate in the illness or be masked.  And then. . . and then . . . and then all hell broke loose.

Just as people were emerging from their quarantine hidey-holes to retake their positions at work, at play, at school into what was supposed to be a joyous reunion, a rogue white cop killed a black man and all the unhealed wounds of racism burst open and the world wailed and bled.  All the people who felt unheard cried out in unison for justice.

For me, the current events recalled the race riots of the 1960s, which burnt entire cities.  Yes, I am that old.  I was there when Martin Luther King gave the “I Have A Dream” speech at the Lincoln Memorial to the hundreds of thousands of demonstrators on the Washington, DC Mall.  And I, I thought those wounds had healed, or at least were stitched up.  After all, I live in peace, friendship and harmony alongside all races in Virginia, on a Civil War Battlefield, equidistant from the old Capital of the Confederacy and the current Capital of the Free World.  Many of my very closest friends, members of my family, and my co-workers are of a different race than I am, and I never really notice.  It just doesn’t register with me—honestly.

Then a young woman, one young enough to be my grown child, called me a racist because I didn’t know the meaning of POC, thus, I must not be in dialogue with any other race or I would know that POC means “people of color.”  And I flipped into an angry, cursing bitch.  She had to be a stupid, shallow, inexperienced little twit to say that.  I, who claim to be a projection of infinite consciousness, suddenly became a focused fragment of fear.

How about you?  How is this experience affecting you?  I know I am as confused as can be because this has happened before.  Why and how could it happen again?  How did I, and we, create this reality—again?  How does one regain equanimity in an environment of doubt, fear and confusion?

Is this happening because the media is divided into two factions, each reporting only the extreme version of its corporate-narrative and projecting that narrative into our collective reality?  There is certainly more going on than just a virus and racially motivated demonstrations.  It appears to me as if there is a destructive agenda being activated.  And that alone is certainly a reason to step back and disengage; to go into yourself and find your own place of calm, and act, or not, on what feels right for you.

Or, you may ask, should we even try to regain equanimity?  Should we instead join the crowd and demonstrate for justice knowing that we will confront opposition, possible violence and confusion?

I am not sure of the answer for you.  I can’t be the one who determines your action or reaction; no one else but you can, nor should they.  But if nothing else, it might help to share our thoughts and experiences.  So tell what you feel and what you will do or are doing to balance yourself.  I await your comments.

The sacred light in me honors and recognizes the sacred light in you.